


I'm Sorry

by allyhg



Category: Rise (TV 2018)
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Siremy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-01 10:00:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14518029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyhg/pseuds/allyhg
Summary: Simon's distraught after Jeremy tells him not to touch him anymore.





	1. A Mistake

“Do not walk off this stage.”

“I lost everything for this stupid play!”

Robbie stormed offstage, the other students jumping to get out of his way. Mr. Mazzu watched him go, then proceeded to leave in the opposite direction, Ms. Wolfe following him, leaving instructions for no one to move.

“Well I guess his vision is ruined, what ever will we do?” Jolene remarked as soon as they were out of earshot, proceeded with scattered laughs from the others. They all dispersed themselves, some staying on stage to practice, others finding quiet places to study. Simon went to Lilette, who was still on the lift from the graveyard scene, offering her a hand down.

“Do you think he’ll come back?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she responded, looking nervous. “I hope so.”

“Me too,” he offered a small smile and a squeeze on the shoulder. His eyes shifted to Jeremy, who was sitting in the audience with a notebook on his knee. Lilette followed his eyes and spotted who he was staring so intensely at.

“What happened with you guys?”

“W-what?” Simon stuttered.

“With Jeremy. Your scene today, it was pretty clear something happened. Last rehearsal was incredible, but today he wouldn’t even look at you.”

“Really? I didn’t notice.”

“Simon,” she raised her eyebrows knowingly. He sighed.

“Look I just don’t want to get into it right now, okay?” he answered, flustered. Lilette nodded, she knew not to push him too far.

“You should talk to him. If you want to. As a friend.” Simon nodded. He knew she was right. His and Jeremy’s scene was once the best in the show, and now he’d ruined it. He’d ruined everything.

He made his way down the stairs and towards Jeremy’s seat, nervous about the conversation that would follow. He had told him not to touch him, did that mean he couldn’t talk to him either? He was about to find out.

“Hey,” he said, sitting in the chair on his left, hands fidgeting.

“Hi,” Jeremy replied flatly, keeping his head down. They sat in silence for a moment, Simon still unsure of what to say.

“Can I help you?” Jeremy snapped, finally looking up at him, the light that Simon once found in his eyes gone.

“I get that we have our personal stuff, but we can’t let that effect—“

“You think I want to ruin the show?”

“What _do_ you want then? Why are you acting like this?” Simon found his voice beginning to get louder.

“You know what I want, Simon.” He looked back down at his work. Simon sat quietly for a minute, his stomach twisting.

“I—“ Simon was cut off as Ms. Wolfe entered the theater again, telling the students to set up to run Touch Me. Jeremy stood up abruptly, leaving the boy alone, his heart aching. _Do you feel something when you’re with me?_ The words from the week before flooded his mind. Why couldn’t Jeremy understand that he just couldn’t? _I’m straight,_ the boy thought, _I like Annabelle. She’s a great girl. Jeremy’s attractive, yes. And funny, and nice, and talented. And yeah, when I look at him I feel like I might throw up, but that doesn’t—_

“Simon, come on, we don’t have all night,” Ms. Wolfe called to Simon, breaking his daze. He stood up and walked up the stairs, flashing a small smile to Lilette, who looked concerned.

“Has anyone seen Gwen?” Ms. Wolfe asked the troupe, with various mutters and head shakes in response. “No? Alright, we’ll start without her.”

 _Just focus on the scene,_ he told himself as the music began to play.

He kept his focus for a while until Jeremy began his solo. He felt like he was melting.

“Touch me, just like that. And that oh yeah, now that’s heaven.” Simon’s eyes widened, his heart pounding in his ears.

“Now that I like, God that’s so nice. Now lower down, where the figs lie.”

Simon was barely breathing at this point, his stomach twisting and tears filling his eyes. _Focus,_ he kept telling himself, but how could he?

That boy had done something to him, consuming his mind all hours of the day and night, filling his head with thoughts that shouldn’t be there.

“Good job guys, that’s all for tonight. Have a good weekend,” Ms. Wolfe announced half-heartedly after the song was finished, still worried about Robbie and Mr Mazzu.

“Hey, Simon,” Annabelle ran over to him, smiling. “Want to come over?” He snapped himself out of his thoughts, forcing himself to concentrate.

“Yeah, sure,” he grinned, “Let’s get out of here.”

———

“Hey, Annabelle,” Simon began sitting up, pulling away from the kiss.

“What?” she giggled, trying to pull him closer.

“Annabelle, I, um—“ he tried to piece together an explanation through shallow breath.

“Are you okay?” she stopped for a moment before trying to get closer to him, “C’mon.”

He shook his head, pulling back. His eyes widened as they filled with tears, realizing that he had felt more when watching a boy sing than he had when he was about to have sex with a girl.

“What-what’s wrong?”

_Everything._

“Simon—“

“I-I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

An apology for her. He was sorry he had led her on, sorry he had used her to try to figure out who he was, that he’d very nearly taken her virginity in a panic to find the truth.

“I’m so sorry.”

An apology for being this way. For denying his parents the normal son they had prayed for and for bringing his family shame. He was sorry for being a disappointment to them and himself, all because of some feelings that he just couldn’t suppress anymore. He blinked hard, trying to wake himself up from what must be a nightmare, but instead of an escape, he found only tears falling from his eyes.

“Can you just go?” Annabelle told him, covering herself up in embarrassment.

“I-it’s not you, Annabelle,” he said, and he meant it. She did nothing wrong, she was perfect. It was him that had messed up, him who knew that everything he had done was wrong. The way he was feeling was wrong.

“Just go, okay Simon? Get out!” She was yelling now, and Simon felt the guilt of everything he’d done weigh him down. He sat on the edge of her bed, face wet with tears. _I’m so sorry._

“Simon,” Annabelle was on the verge of tears now, too. “Please leave.”

He took a deep breath and stood up, quickly putting on his clothes and gathering his things, muttering various apologies on his way out the door, tears dripping on everything he was carrying.

He ran to the car, resting his head on the steering wheel and letting out a sob.

_I’m sorry. I’m so sorry._


	2. Safe

“When we look back thirty years from now, tonight will seem unbelievably beautiful,” Simon recited, looking intently towards his scene partner who seemed vastly uninterested.

“And in the meantime?” Jeremy muttered, sounding bored as he looked in the opposite direction.

“Why not?” Simon did his best to act like nothing was wrong, but that proved difficult when it was necessary to touch each other for the scene. He moved closer to him, reaching out for his hand, but Jeremy moved it away abruptly, shooting Simon a glare.

“Okay, guys, seriously? What is going on with you two?” Mr. Mazzu interrupted.

“W-what do you mean?” Simon replied, flustered.

“Look, I don’t know what happened, but whatever it is, you need to figure it out.”

Jeremy stared at his shoes and Simon nodded quickly.

“Ok everyone, let’s run Mama Who Bore Me Reprise,” he announced to the students, then lowered his voice to mention, “and boys, go talk. We can’t have this tension on stage when we open.”

Jeremy walked quickly offstage and into the hallway. Simon sighed, smiling briefly at a worried Lilette and avoiding eye contact with Annabelle.

 

Simon sat on the couch, going over his lines. He didn’t know where Jeremy was, and he didn’t want to try to find him. It seemed that whatever he said or did only made him more upset. But, he supposed that was the exact effect Jeremy had had on him, too.

Suddenly he heard footsteps getting closer and saw Jeremy approach him. Simon looked up, only to see him looking away as he had been the past several days.

“I’m sorry,” Simon said, catching his attention. He looked down at him, shocked, then sat down in the chair next to the couch.

“I messed up,” Simon continued, looking at the ground, ashamed. “I was confused and I hurt you and I’m sorry.”

“Can you just…” he sighed. “Just tell me if it was real or if I was seeing what I wanted to see.”

“What you wanted to see?” Simon looked up and the two locked eyes. Jeremy chuckled and looked around nervously.

“I mean, I knew you from Guys and Dolls last year, you would always catch my eye, I guess.” He smiled at the ground. “Honestly, I wasn’t planning on doing the show this year until I saw your name on the cast list.” He looked up to see Simon staring intently at him.

“I’m sorry if that’s weird or creepy or—“ he tried to clear up his intentions in a sudden surge of panic.

“It’s okay,” Simon replied.

“Good,” Jeremy said with a smile.

“Honestly, I noticed you in Guys and Dolls, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I guess it was just easier to ignore then than it is now. I mean, ever since we started the show, I have these feelings,” he looked away, tears beginning to fill his eyes, “and I feel like if I ever opened up to them, it’d blow up my family. And they’re my family, you know?”

For a moment, the two sat in silence, and Simon had begun to think that Jeremy would never answer. He wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t, he’d destroyed any chance they could’ve had when he denied his feelings for him and made sure he knew the lengths he was planning to go with Annabelle. He knew that everything had been ruined, and he knew that was his fault. He felt tears begin to fall onto his face at that thought.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Simon wiped his tears on the back of his sleeve.

“I pushed you. I pressured you constantly to get you to open up to your feelings just because I thought you liked me. God, I’m an idiot,” Jeremy sighed and put his hands through his hair, eyes wide.

“Y-you didn’t know.”

“I still shouldn’t have done it. I thought I understood what you were going through but I didn’t. I shouldn’t have assumed I did.”

“It’s okay.”

They sat quietly for a few minutes, vaguely hearing the music playing in the theater and exchanging glances filled with tension. Jeremy picked at the skin on his finger absentmindedly, looking around the room and at Simon, who was folding and unfolding the paper of his script over and over again.

“I’m not with Annabelle anymore,” Simon said abruptly, breaking the silence.

“Oh.”

“I just thought you should know.”

“Did you really, uh—“

“No.”

“No?”

“Almost, but I-I couldn’t do it.”

“Why not?” Jeremy asked, knowing the answer he was hoping for.

“I’ve been trying to convince myself that I’m not… I mean, my entire life I’ve been told that it’s wrong, that it’s a sin, but being there with Annabelle, I just couldn’t—“

“Simon,” he took his hand hesitantly, and Simon suddenly realized he had started crying again. The sight of his eyes welling up with tears made Jeremy physically feel his heart shatter.

“It’s okay,” he reassured, only resulting in a loud sob from Simon. Jeremy moved onto the couch, putting his arms around him; a shell, a protection from the outside world.

Simon turned towards him, resting his head on his chest.

“I just don’t know what to do,” Simon cried through shallow breaths. “I ruined everything.”

Jeremy held him tighter, trying to suppress tears that were approaching him, too. It didn’t work. As much as he tried to hold himself together, he broke down just as Simon had moments before. Simon looked up at him, pulling away from the hug but staying close. Jeremy tried to wipe his tears away, embarrassed, but Simon pulled his hand away from his face, placing his forehead against his. They sat like that for a while, with eyes closed and hands intertwined until their tears ran dry.

After a few minutes, Jeremy pulled away, looking into the other boy's eyes. He placed his hand on the side of his face, rubbing his thumb across his pale skin.

“It’s going to be okay,” he said in a hoarse voice. “I promise.”

And for the first time in months, with Jeremy’s hands in his, Simon felt safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy that so many people liked the last chapter, thank you!! Here's some fluff, sorry this chapter is kinda short!


	3. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon's flustered after his talk with Jeremy and doesn't quite know how to handle things.

“Bye, Mom!” Simon heard Lilette yell into the house as she stepped outside. She made her way to the car, throwing her bag in the backseat before getting in.

“Hey,” she said, smiling as she buckled her seat belt.

“Hi,” he replied, starting the car and beginning to back out of her driveway.

“So, how was your date with Robbie?” Simon asked, raising his eyebrows as he glanced over at her. She was smiling ear to ear.

“It was incredible,” she giggled, “he’s incredible. I can’t even believe he likes me.”

“I’m happy for you,” he replied, and he meant it. Lilette had spent far too many mornings complaining, she deserved to have someone who made her happy.

“And what about you?” she asked, looking over at him and resting her head against the seat.

“What?”

“Friday night, with Annabelle. You left with her, I never got a chance to ask about it.”

“Oh,” his heart ached and he cleared his throat, not quite knowing what to say. “Uh—“

“Simon,” she paused for a moment, deliberating if she should ask what they were both expecting, then continued, “Did you have sex with her?” There it was. Simon took a shaky breath and blinked hard.

“No.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I-I um… I’m okay.” Simon felt tears forming in his eyes with just the memory of that night. The car approached a stop light and he put his hands through his hair, resting his elbow on the center console.

“Are you sure?”

He didn’t say anything, focused on suppressing tears. Lilette grabbed his hand, squeezing slightly and trying to meet his eyes. Simon refused to look at her. He knew that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from breaking down. He didn’t know why, but he thought that since he admitted it to himself and to Jeremy, it’d be easy to admit to other people, especially Lilette. He’d known her since the second grade, he trusted her with his life, how was he so incapable of telling her what he knew she already suspected?

The light turned green and he turned left into the parking lot, finding his spot and parking the car. He reached behind the seat for his bag, and Lilette didn’t move. He paused and looked at her.

“Are you coming?” he chuckled, brushing his thoughts away quickly, acting like nothing was wrong as he often did.

“Yeah, sorry.” Lilette reached for her bag and they both opened their doors. She knew not to push him, especially with this, but sometimes she wondered if he really trusted her. I mean, they _had_ been friends for 8 years, he obviously knows she loves him, why was he always so persistent in keeping this part of himself hidden from her? She shook her head and chuckled quietly to herself as the cool air hit her face, knowing she was overthinking things. _He’ll come to you when he’s ready,_ she told herself. _Him not telling you has nothing to do with you._ Still, she couldn’t help the invasive thoughts that so often consumed her mind.

“Ready for the math test today?” Simon asked as they walked towards the school, trying to lighten the mood and erase all memory of the tension in the car.

“Oh no, I completely forgot!” she replied with panic in her voice. Simon laughed and she punched him playfully on the arm.

“Ow! You can just study at lunch, it’s okay.”

“I’m so bad at math though, you know that!”

Simon heard quickening footsteps behind him, a familiar sound. _Oh, my God._

“Hey guys,” Jeremy caught up to them, smiling. “Hi, Simon.”

“Hi Jeremy,” Simon replied, eyes wide. He felt his cheeks get pink and Lilette did her best to suppress a laugh. He elbowed her, glaring.

“So Jeremy, you’re good at math, right?” she asked, knowing Simon would be grateful for a conversation.

“Uh, I-I guess so—“

“Will you help me? Please, please, please? I’m clueless.”

“Yeah, sure,” Jeremy smiled big, knowing his relationship with Simon would go much smoother if Lilette liked him. _If we have a relationship,_ he told himself for what seemed like the millionth time, consistently unsure if Simon wanted that.

“Do you have first lunch?” she asked.

_“_ Yep,” he replied, holding the door open for Simon, getting a small smile in return.

“Oh, thank God! You’re the greatest, I owe you one!”

Jeremy chuckled and Lilette headed down the opposite hall, towards her class.

“So…” Simon laughed and tried to will himself to stop blushing. It didn’t work.

“How are you?” Jeremy asked, looking intently at him. He’d take any opportunity he could to look at Simon because _God_ , he was adorable.

“I’m alright, how are you?”

“I’m great,” he replied, and Simon knew why. They walked for a while quietly, not quite knowing what to say after the weight of their last conversation. Simon got to his locker, and Jeremy was about to say goodbye, but he stopped him.

“Hey, uh, Jeremy, do you want to come over after school? My parents will be at work so— n-not that them being there would be an issue— I-I just mean, um— w-we could study or something, I don’t know. If you want to, I mean you don’t have to obviously b-but—“

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“I’d love to,” Jeremy said, smiling bigger than Simon had ever seen.

“Oh, o-okay, good. I could, um, drive you, i-if you wanted,” he stammered.

“I’ll meet you here after 6th period?”

“Y-yeah. That sounds good.”

“Good. I can’t wait,” Jeremy said before turning and walking down the hallway, beaming. Well, that certainly didn’t help with Simon’s blushing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't much but I hope you're prepared for lots of fluff next chapter!!


	4. Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Simon and Jeremy's study date!

Simon opened the camera on his phone, desperately trying to manage his hair. He was running his fingers through it and anxiously checking his appearance when Jeremy suddenly approached him.

“Hi,” Jeremy smiled, and Simon quickly put his phone away, hoping he hadn’t seen what he was doing. He had but pretended to be clueless for Simon’s sake.

“Hey,” Simon replied, “Ready to go?”

“Yep.”

They started walking down the hallway and towards the doors. Simon’s hand accidentally brushed up against Jeremy’s as they walked and Simon quickly pulled his hand away, putting it in his pocket. Ordinarily, Jeremy would’ve been bothered by this, but today was different. After their talk, he knew everything would change, and he was ready for that change. He desperately hoped that Simon was ready for it too, even if those changes were only in private.

Jeremy pushed open one of the doors and held it open as Simon walked through.

“Thanks,” he muttered, and Jeremy smiled. _God, he’s cute._

“How did studying with Lilette go?” Simon asked.

“It was good! She’s smarter than she thinks, I’m sure she did well on the test.”  
“Good, I-I’m glad you guys are getting along,” he said, unlocking the car as Jeremy went around to the other door. As much as Simon tried, he couldn’t help but focus on the fact that the last time they were both here, they’d kissed. The last time they were here, Simon ran away, and yet here they were again, going to his house. It felt surreal.

“She’s a really great person,” Jeremy said as they both got into the car. “I’ve never really talked to her before, how long have you been friends?”

“Eight years now, if I remember correctly,” Simon replied as he started the car and backed out of the parking spot.

“Wow, so you guys are pretty close?”

“Yeah, I-I guess so.”

“So does she, uh, does she know? About, um—“

“No. I mean, n-not yet,” Simon replied, remembering the events of that morning.

“I don’t want to push, but… why not?” Jeremy asked slowly and cautiously. Simon didn’t say anything for a moment, not sure how to reply. After all, he had no idea why he couldn’t tell her, she _was_ his best friend.

“Y-you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to!” Jeremy suddenly exclaimed in a surge of panic. _Oh God, did I screw everything up again?_ The last thing he wanted was to push Simon too much, as he had before.

“No, i-it’s okay. Honestly, I’m not sure why.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve tried telling her. After our kiss and after our talk and after… Annabelle and I.”

The car filled with tension at just the mention of Friday night, when Simon’s panic had gone as far as nearly having sex with Annabelle.

“I just can’t. I-I don’t know why. I should trust her, right? Of all people, she should be the one that I can talk to about this stuff without being scared.”

“Not necessarily.”

Simon glanced at him, confused. “Yes necessarily, I trust her more than anyone. She knows everything about me.”

“Exactly,” Jeremy explained, “she knows everything about you. The first person I told I wasn’t straight was Michael, a month after I met him. I always thought I’d tell my sister first, but…” He chuckled, and the car was silent for a minute as he collected his thoughts.

“I guess it was easier to tell someone I didn’t know as well. Michael was still learning about me, about what I’m like. The people I’ve known for a long time already have this picture of who I am, and telling them about this would be a huge deal. With Michael, it was just another thing he learned. With my sister, it was like a new addition to myself that she had to adapt to.” The car was quiet for a moment as Jeremy tried to catch Simon’s eye, searching for some sort of understanding.

“D-does that make sense?” he stuttered, hoping Simon didn’t think he was crazy.

“Yeah, it does.” At least Simon knew he wasn’t insane for being incapable of telling Lilette. He pulled into the driveway and they both got out of the car, heading to the front door. This time, Simon held the door open for Jeremy after unlocking it.

“W-we can just go to my room?” Simon asked, fidgeting with his sleeve.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Jeremy replied with a smile, following him up the stairs and into the bedroom.

The room was small, but not too small, with a few Playbills scattered along one of the walls and a large collection of books stacked on a shelf.

“Sorry for the mess,” Simon blurted out, hurriedly picking up the one pair of pants that were on the floor.

“Simon, your room is literally spotless,” Jeremy laughed and set his bag down, Simon running his hand through his hair nervously.

“Do you, uh, do you wanna sit?” Simon asked, gesturing towards the bed.

They both sat down on the edge and Simon picked at the skin on his fingers anxiously. He didn’t quite know what to do. I mean, he had poured out all of his deepest secrets to this boy, he was aware of their feelings for each other, how was he supposed to act? It’s not like he could pretend they were just friends, because he was very aware that they were more than that. Well, not _now_ , obviously. They weren’t boyfriends or anything, despite the joy that filled his head at just the thought of that. _Jeremy, my boyfriend._ With the urge to smile came the urge to cry. _But my parents,_ he tried to push the thought away, hoping to just enjoy the happiness he felt with Jeremy, but it stayed, haunting him. _God, why does everything have to be so complicated?_

“Simon? A-are you okay?” Suddenly he realized they’d been sitting there for much longer than he had thought, with Simon’s eyes darting around the room and breathing shallowly.

“Uh y-yeah. I-I’m fine,” he barely managed to stutter out.

“Simon, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“I’m not.”

“Really?” Jeremy asked, unconvinced.

“I-I just—“

“Simon, there’s no pressure here. I want you to know that. I know I’ve been upfront about my feelings before but I’m slowing down now. We can go as slow or as fast as you want to, okay?”

Simon nodded, rubbing the sweat of his hands on his jeans.

“Did you read the chapter for English yet?” Jeremy asked, reaching into his backpack for his copy of The Grapes of Wrath. Simon shook his head and went to grab his book as well.

They both leaned against the headboard about a foot apart, reading quietly for a while, and Simon finally felt like he could breathe again. Suddenly he noticed Jeremy’s hand, placed in between them on the grey blanket. God, it was hard to focus when his hand was right there.

Simon glanced to his right at the other boy, watching his grey-blue eyes scan the page. Jeremy absentmindedly chewed at his lip and Simon quickly looked away as he turned to the next page.

He stared at his hand, debating what to do. Jeremy _had_ said they could go at whatever pace he wanted. And this was what he wanted.

Simon hesitantly moved his hand off his knee and onto the blanket, his pinky now on top of Jeremy’s. He held his breath as he slowly slid his hand to the right, feeling the warmth of Jeremy’s skin. Now neither of them could breathe.

Jeremy rotated his hand so his palm was up and they intertwined their fingers. It felt like their hands were made for each other, fitting perfectly together.

Simon looked over at the other boy, who was smiling ear to ear. Suddenly their eyes locked and Simon’s stomach flipped. _Those eyes._

He quickly looked away, knowing he’d get lost in Jeremy’s eyes if he looked at them any longer. They both looked back at their books, holding hands in silence for a while. Every now and then Jeremy would rub his thumb along Simon’s skin, always accompanied by Simon’s heart exploding and his focus derailed.

Soon enough they were both finished with the chapter, taking much longer than usual with the distraction of the boy next to them.

“I don’t think I have ever read a more boring book,” Jeremy said as he tilted his head back against the headboard. Simon chuckled and closed his book, placing it beside him.

Jeremy lifted his head and looked over at him, squeezing his hand and smiling. Simon grinned and felt his face turn pink. He looked down at their hands, their fingers laced together. A perfect image. He wanted this picture ingrained in his mind forever.

He checked the time. 4:38. His mom would be home at 5.

“Should I go?” Jeremy asked.

“No!” Simon replied quickly. “I-I mean unless you want to, obviously.” Jeremy smiled and rubbed his thumb in circles on Simon’s hand, sending shivers down his spine.

“I want to stay as long as you want me to.”

Simon hesitantly leaned over to rest his head on the other boy’s shoulder, and Jeremy tilted his head to lean against Simon’s head. They sat like that for a few minutes, just breathing and smiling. Simon didn’t think he’d ever been so happy in his life.

“Hey, Simon?”

“Hm?”

“I think you’re really great, you know that, right?”

Simon lifted his head from his shoulder to look up at him, confused. He wasn’t sure where this was going.

“I-I just mean…” Jeremy sighed. “I’m really lucky I met you.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Jeremy lifted Simon’s hand to his face and pressed his lips against his skin. Simon’s heart skyrocketed. When Jeremy looked back up at him he laughed at the sight of Simon’s surprised, wide eyes.

“What are you laughing at?” Simon said nervously, his cheeks turning red.

“You’re just so cute,” he replied, beaming.

Simon chuckled and looked down. If he thought his cheeks were red before, he should’ve seen them now.

He checked the time again. 4:52.

“Uh—“

“I can go.”

“I-I’m sorry. It’s just my parents, they—“

“Simon, it’s okay. I get it,” Jeremy reassured him with a smile.

Simon sighed. “Want me to drive you home?”

Jeremy nodded and stood up, disconnecting their hands to gather his things. They went down the stairs and towards the car. It was raining out, but the kind of rain that you could barely feel, like invisible drops of water suspended in the air.

“Where’s your house?” Simon asked as he pulled out of the driveway.

“Turn left out of here.”

“D-do you want music?”

“Sure.” Jeremy grabbed the aux cord and plugged in his phone.

“I know what you’ll like…” Jeremy said, laughing.

“Should I be scared?”

The first chord played and Simon knew the answer: yes.

Jeremy giggled and started singing along.

“‘I only want to say, if there is a way,’” he dramatically reenacted the scene.

“I hate you,” Simon chuckled. How Jeremy knew that his favorite musical was Jesus Christ Superstar, he’d never know.

“You know you can’t resist!” he laughed before continuing, “‘Feel it burn me, I have changed’— C'mon! I know you know all the words.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’ve never heard this song before.”

“Liar! ‘Then I was inspired, now I’m sad and tired,’” he continued exaggerating his acting.

“Where do I turn?”

“The next right. C’mon Saunders, I’m not leaving this car until you sing.”

Simon laughed harder than he had in weeks, “No way!”

“I’m begging you! ‘Could you ask as much from any other man?’ Si, I swear—“

“‘But if I die,’” Simon joined in at long last.

“Yes!” Jeremy shouted, sending them both into fits of laughter.

They continued the song, both yelling the lyrics and overemphasizing their acting.

They arrived at Jeremy’s house as it ended, thrown into sudden quiet, the only sound being Jeremy’s giggles subsiding slowly.

“Thank you,” Simon said.

“For what?”

“I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.”

Jeremy grabbed his hand and squeezed, smiling ear to ear.

“Thanks for inviting me over. We should hang out again sometime.”

“Yeah. Sometime soon, hopefully.” Simon grinned.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jeremy said and started out the door.

“Jeremy, wait.” He turned around in his seat, looking back at him.

“Yeah?”

Simon glanced at his lips, not exactly sure why he stopped him from leaving. He knew he wanted to kiss him, but he couldn’t help but remember that his parents were at home, waiting for him.

“N-nothing. Nevermind.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jeremy.”

Jeremy got out of the car and closed the door, heading towards his house. Simon watched him go inside before backing out of the driveway.

That boy did things to him. A week ago that stressed him out, but today was different. Today, Simon was happy, and that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is super long, I just couldn't help myself!! Here's that fluff you ordered :)


End file.
